A Lifetime of the Journey
Updated: Mar 23, 2020
Your personal growth has no end point but it does have a starting point
Why we start now with what we have right where we stand
“Are you waiting for the right time or just some free time? Waiting for money, a job promotion, to lose weight, to find a partner, for more education, or approval?.”
Okay.Okay. I know. You're busy. Not kind of busy. You are up to your ears in work, school, kids, health concerns, money issues, family stuff, and a million other things that demand all of your time and attention not now but right now! Shew. I got tired just writing that sentence. Make time and space for yourself? Yeah right! That is for lucky, entitled, privileged people with no concept of what it is like to have to work for a living, raise kids, care for aging parents, pay the bills, and manage health concerns...sometimes as a one person act and all at once. Do you see some of yourself in this picture I've painted?
You'll notice no where in this list of demands and obligations are hobbies, friendship, abundance, personal wellness, self-care, or love mentioned. Why? Because these are not topics that come up when we are busy just trying to keep all the balls in the air at once. But they are all very important topics. As important and sometimes more important than the things we have chosen to prioritize. And so we must, at the very least, consider talking about these things and figure out why they have fallen off of our radar. Love, contentment, friendship, adventure, health, clarity, success, and abundance are all normal human desires.
Now you're thinking "I just told you they fell off the radar because I am busy as hell!" Sometimes we are too busy but that is almost 100% temporary. When we dig a little deeper what we often uncover are patterns of thought and behaviors that are really creating the rodblocks. Our beliefs, many of which aren't serving us, reinforce these narratives we tell ourselves about who we are & what we deserve. Over time being exhausted and frustrated may have become a way of life and seem insurmountable.
But exhausted & frustrated is a great starting point
Start right now. Right here. Today. Using whatever you have. The transformation begins in the glorious act of imperfect doing and not in infinite planning of perfection. You may not have a clear vision of what you want, yet. But yet is a promise. It holds the potential for a happier and healthier life. Taking a first step, any step no matter how insignificant it may seem, puts you on your path towards wellness. What is it going to be? Making endless grocery lists with just the right foods, getting your haircut, waiting until you have saved "enough money", waiting until the kids are older, waiting for the weather to get better, joining the gym and buying new tennis shoes, after vacation, after the holidays, waiting for another person to do whatever they need to do...or does it start right here and now in an imperfect act? Being brave means taking imperfect action and not having to qualify it to anyone. It is and that is good enough because you are enough.
Perfection is a fallacy and it is keeping you from your life
"Sometimes the fun is in the imperfection. It is in this space that we truly learn about who we are and what we really value."
We can't control the weather or many other circumstances in our life so it's best to recognize the facts and decide what it is we really value and what we can do. Excellence is a good goal and should be encouraged but it is different from perfection. Excellence means you gave your best effort it does not mean your efforts were flawless. Somehow perfection has become a methodology in our current culture and it is extremely unhealthy for everyone. Everyone suffers from it. Not only those who operate under it's influence but consider all the incredible gifts people possess that they are not sharing because they fear criticism for being a flawed human. It's time for that brave pep talk again. Get brave. Put your gifts out their for the world. We need you. You deserve chase your dreams and we deserve to benefit from the wonderful unique gifts and talents you were born to share. Don't wait to lose the weight, craft the perfect speech, have the bigger house, paint the basement, or finish X, Y, and Z. Bring your excellence but leave that perfect fallacy in the story books where it belongs.
Just get to the starting line & take your cheering section with you
The finish line is not the goal. Getting yourself to the starting line is the goal. It is easier than you are making it out to be. I hear you. I know your hesitation. I have to be vigilant in my own life not to dig deep into my pockets for excuses because I am a master excuse maker. I can justify delaying almost any action that makes me vulnerable and requires bravery. In fact, writing this blog is just inviting an ass kicking from anyone who does not agree with me. But that is okay. I have read enough Brene Brown and I am good with arena life. I am okay with taking calculated risks and being vulnerable because I have some practice at it and I also have a great cheering section to drown out the boos from my critics, even that exceptionally cruel critic that lives on my shoulders and whispers mean things in my ears. Get yourself to the starting line. That is the ask today. Tell those you love and trust what your goal is and ask for their support. You heard that, right? If you are going to transform your life you will have to get really good at asking for help.
Wishing each of you a happier and healthier life,